How to be a better Parent?

Are you a parent who is worried about their child’s future? Do you want to be a better parent, to raise your child? Are you reading this because your child is notoriously cunning? The reasons are many, but the common aspect is that you are worried about your child’s future and that you have accepted that it is not entirely the fault of your children; you are also to blame equally. Parenting is indeed one of the most challenging jobs globally, but the fruits are rewarding even though it is tedious. 

Understanding Child’s Psychology and how it progresses with time. 

Understanding your kid is the best way to begin. Parent’s should be a data scientist trying to collect information every second. One of the parenting job’s essential tasks is to look at the child’s behavior patterns because, Remember, every child is unique, and the uniqueness makes your kid stand out. An amazing fact about young toddlers is that they tend to be like a computer, waiting to gain information, but the catch is there is no right or wrong filter. For instance, your child tags along with you to shop groceries in the supermarket, your son/daughter, being a marvel fan, picks up Iron man and throws it in the shopping cart. You then notice it and give a definite no to the kid, but the kid is persistent and throws tantrums. The concrete ‘No’ continues, and you finally give up and purchase the toy for the kid. Here, you think you’ve handled the situation, but the child has learned lessons of good and evil. The child feels that ‘No’ doesn’t mean ‘No’ and can control his mother by throwing emotional tantrums. It seems cunning, right, but that’s precisely what a growing mind is while developing a conscience. Therefore, interacting and noticing habits in your child gives them space to grow.

Influence of bad parenting on children.

Not knowing the right thing to do is a natural human response, but being a bad parent is no excuse at all. What is bad parenting? Movies might suggest that bad parenting on a higher spectrum includes physical abuse of the child, sexual abuse, developing neglect, and creating emotional barriers between you and the child. While this is true, bad parenting on the lower spectrum is as bad as the traits mentioned earlier.

Bad Parenting Traits on the lower to mid spectrum include,

  1. Anger issues, i.e., losing your temper quickly when your kid does something wrong and by calling out names.
  2. To have a Judgemental character, comparing your child with your neighbors or relatives’ children.
  3. To show dissatisfaction with the marks or achievements of your child.
  4. Invasion of privacy and constant interrogation like the FBI.
  5. To not have a listening ear.
  6. To make strict house rules and schedules to follow.
  7. To not attempt to invest time to know your kid.

There are many attributes of lousy parenting; self-evaluation is one of the keys to finding it out. If you realize that you are a bad parent, there is always room for improvement. The very fact that you are reading this is because you want to know about the right thing to do, which is progress.

What happens when you be a bad parent and the long-term effects on the child. 

In the worst-case scenario, bad parenting seeds may grow a ‘Criminal Tree with fruits of crimes.’ Mothers play an important role in providing nourishment to the child and enriching the child with emotions. When disruption of that process occurs, the child is underdeveloped emotionally. The part of a father develops the quality of responsibility. Therefore, if the child fails to grasp them, the child develops lower self-esteem, irresponsibility, depression, anxiety, violence, becoming a bully in school, and hinders social growth. There are other attributes as well. Studies indicate that a child with maternal detachment has a higher chance of Juvenile Delinquency.

Transitioning from being bad to a good parent.

Newborn babies and toddlers in the 3-5 age group understand gestures and facial expressions more than words. They communicate through and by the touch of their parents; they feel calm and protected. Being a good parent starts right at the beginning, but it’s never too late.

Good parenting skills, to name a few;

  1. Understanding your child and the reasons for his/her bad behavior.

If your child is frustrated or angry, there might be many reasons behind it. For instance, your child comes home angry and frustrated from school and gets it all out by yelling at you and detesting to eat the food. Instead of coming up with an argument, you need to find out what’s wrong, and the first step in doing so is to ask them, “Why are you so angry?”. Please do not come up with conclusions yet, but wait patiently for what they have to say. In this process, your child might also develop a sense of belonging and comfort.

  1. Giving space for growth and not forcing things unto them.

As parents, you are always worried about your child’s bright future, so you tend to force things on them which they aren’t interested in doing. For instance, you might force them to learn a violin, but your child might not be interested in it but can be interested in learning how to swim, and you do not allow it. The key here is letting your child explore the world and not force things you seem is right as sometimes you need to see things through their eyes.

  1. Creating a positively enriched environment.

When we start besmirching about relatives or neighbors or become critics by judging your children’s friends, the child develops a sense of being sophisticated and create negative feelings towards others. One can make a positive environment by speaking positively and interacting positively in the neighborhood.

  1. Reminiscing what went wrong when you were growing up.

Sometimes, looking back at the past can bring in a plethora of solutions. For instance, remembering your prom disaster and how your parents handled it, you can learn from it and make your child’s prom a special one.

  1. Spending time with each other and planning frequent getaways.

Getting swamped in Work, gets you going Work! Work! Work! On a 24 hour day, you spend about 17 hours in sleep and Work, and one rests in that precious 7 hour period, and this is the only time you have to spend with your child. If in that 7 hours your children aren’t at home, you won’t be able to interact with them. Therefore, planning weekend trips might give you time to interact with them and know about what’s happening in their lives.

  1. Showing trust and support.

Trusting in your child’s ability and supporting him/her in their endeavors one of the best things the child longs for. It will aid in boosting their confidence and will help them achieve great heights.

It is crucial to remember that being a good parent by giving your best doesn’t mean your child will meet your expectations. Every job requires skills, and for the parenting job, you need to have qualities of patience, perseverance, and integrity. Be your child’s best friend more than anything, and focus on making your child a good Human Being, rather than a Yale or Harvard Graduate, things will automatically fall in the right place.