The term marriage is synonymous with the oneness of two people. It is the beginning of a lifelong bond with virtues of dedication, devotion, faithfulness, and equal sharing of responsibilities, duties, and pressures. It is an opportunity of growing old together with selflessness. A bond leading to a beautiful life ahead, and when you grow as a family, it is not just a physical union, but it unites you emotionally.
This bond gives support in difficult times. You can bank on your partner at any point of time in your life. There are pure bliss and purity in the relationship. It is a bond like no other where the partners sail through all the challenges of life together.
You grow your family together; raise the children as your reflection. What they become as human beings portray how strong and healthy a marriage you’ve had. Pure love and commitment lead to sheer joy and a feeling of contentment.
Though the partner’s characters and habits differ, there still is perfection in these odds. No wonder there are times when there are disagreements and failures, but that makes the bond even more robust.
Even after we know that we entered into this relationship with a ‘happily ever after’ thought, some culprits split apart the perfect marital bliss and result in a divorce or separation.
Main reasons for a high divorce rate
- When you are together for the wrong reason-
There are times when people get into a relationship due to family or societal pressures or marry just for money. There are times when poles apart are set up by parents to be together, and you are not in a position to say a no to the marriage. These result in dissatisfaction, and you feel an unnecessary pressure that you are staying in. There is a breakout at some point in time that leads up to parting ways.
- Lack of equality
When one partner is over dependent on the other and doesn’t have your individuality in the relationship, you feel torn. There are times when one partner overpowers the other with his or her choice of music, food, movies, outings, and you feel as if you have a lot of pressure to prove your own identity. You may be a happily married couple to the world, but inside you know that you don’t feel comfortable anymore.
- Over engrossed in household work
Before marriage, people tend to enjoy their single status, party hard, spend time with friends, but as soon as they enter the marital bliss, they divert their full attention to household chores and children. They completely forget that they are a couple. When the children grow up and settle down in their lives, you realize that you have grown apart as a husband and wife, and you have no charm left in your marriage.
- Lack of common vision
As a husband and wife, if you feel you are poles apart and that things have completely gone down the hill after marriage, this is the start of discomfort. There are frequent disagreements on job responsibilities, and none of you tend to adapt, adjust or change. This shows no shared vision to grow together in life, which leads to frustration and regular fights.
- Lack of intimacy
This is a significant part of marriage. The idea of being romantic is very different for a man and a woman. Physical intimacy is not the only requirement in a marriage. Emotional compatibility and checking up on each other if the other person feels left out is also very important. Generally, men need sexual compatibility to feel romantic, while a female needs different ways to feel romantic, which leads to being sexually receptive. Whenever there is a rift in any one part, it leads to dissatisfaction and a feeling of being left out unappreciated. This leads to drifting apart and taking a divorce ultimately.
- Higher expectations
It is quite natural to expect things from your better halves, but when in a marriage, you start expecting too much from the partner, which is not fulfilled, leading to unhappiness, criticism, nagging, and holding each other responsible for an unhappy marriage. Both don’t tend to change according to the expectations and leads to disagreements.
- Money matters
Even though you may not have handsome earning still, you can find happiness with the mere fact that you are together. The problem starts because of no compatibility in the financial matters. The problem arises when one person has doubts about the capabilities of the other to handle finances. It may be that one believes in living for today while the other in saving for the future. Conflicts in the marriage reach a level that results in a divorce.
- Small gestures of love in togetherness
As stated earlier also, sexual compatibility is excellent. Apart from that, just a few small gestures like a little kiss on the forehead before leaving for work or a simple smile also work wonders. Holding hands or leaning on other shoulder gives at most satisfaction. Sexual and non-sexual actions both play an equal and essential role in keeping you together as a couple. When you are missing any of these parts, you tend to drift apart.
- Me-time
Though in a marriage, it is one soul and two bodies, but nagging does not help. Me-time is equally important to grow as individuals and gives you the time to reflect on your thoughts. The couple who lack this result in a lot of dissatisfaction.
- Increasing conflicts and no solution
Every couple would have disagreements, but the bottom rule of happiness is to respect each other’s point of view and not stretch the problem. At times arguments become bigger than joy, and you tend to seek a separation.
- Communication issues
The bottom line of happiness in any relationship is open communication. All have disagreements, financial issues, commitment issues, but you can sort it all if you have open communication. In the absence of open dialogue, the drift tends to increase, resulting in a separation.
- Domestic abuse
Physical or emotional abuse leaves the victim traumatized. This is unbearable for any person. Separating from the abusive partner is a safe solution as domestic violence should not be tolerated.
- Cheating on your partner
Betrayal or trust issues bring a significant rift in the relationship. Your partner feels left out, and it is hard to come back together.
- Infidelity
Though it may sound abstract, infidelity has been one reason for the increasing rate of divorces. You don’t feel complete, and sometimes this also leads to extramarital affairs and breakdowns. The passion in the marriage fades overtime.
Is divorce worth it?
The answer to this question is very subjective. This is one question where a ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ both the options are correct. It depends on the individuals facing the situation. It would be best if you evaluated that whether staying together all these years has given you more comfort and happiness than dissatisfaction and frustration or not. Divorce is painful even if you both want it. You may separate officially, but emotionally it takes a toll on both. You need to think wisely and reach a solution. It would be best to analyze all the aspects like your happiness, your kid’s life, and your well-being and stability. All said and done; there can never be a right or wrong in this situation as you two are the best judge of your lives.