Beginning of a Happy Life?
Whether you married your high school sweetheart or you didn’t, hooked up on a blind date leading to moving in together, have been a couple for many years together living a happily ever after, life’s going well until it hits the bare ground. Sexual drives are quite intense in the teens, especially when they are at the peak of puberty. It has been reported that an average man loses his virginity at the age of 16.9 years old while women at the age of around 18 years old. Sexual urges are maximum at this age, and the percentage of monogamy recorded in the USA is dropping. At this age, it is most likely to have an urge to be in a relationship and try to mitigate your sexual desires by letting it out.
Age groups and possible reasons for reduced sexual urges.
Middle-age couples lose their sexual urges due to a mundane way of life and being uncomfortable to try kinky stuff. Mid-twenty is a golden age for career development and family planning, while couples tend to have a baby, and after doing so, they tend to be busy in their duties drifting away from each other. Couples who don’t have sex on a daily or weekly basis tend to lose their intimacy towards each other. Humans don’t do telepathy; what they indeed do is speak in signs the body language, and as we all know, actions speak louder than words, feeding negativity to our kiddish sub-conscious mind. Both parties tend to get a notion of losing interest in each other and ultimately leads to the end of a significant era together.
Is sex just a physical activity?
In the early teens, YES!! Sex is a physical activity that later develops as an emotional gravity towards each other. But in a broader sense, it is not just a physical activity but also a ritual of intimacy and understanding. It seems cheesy romantic, right? But the latter is true. Imagine a hypothetical scenario where you meet someone, you first have thoughts about the physical appearance of that person, and suddenly when you speak to that person, you realize that the personality of the person is awful. Thoughts of having sex falls into ruins. If there were a vulnerability index, then it would be at its apex when a man and woman are having sex, that means in the process of having sex, an intimate connection of emotions have been developed. The majority, therefore, feel guilty after a casual hook up, while the rest try to keep it casual but do so for their emotional well-being.
Long-term relationships are likely to have a loss of sexual urges.
The first date is always full of adrenaline rush and a feeling of being on an adventure. There is an eagerness to know each other, a complex chemical reaction of hormones into your brains, and an extremely high sexual surge, your mind in a maze of feelings. Things work out well; you get married, have kids, purchase a house, a car, get promoted, or work like a mundane regular American citizen. Loans, bill, insurance is now added to your list. College funding for the kid, monthly expenses, and that trip to Hawaii or the Caribbean. Life pretty much stressful, and time is being credited at its highest. You sleep early, wake up early, sleep late, or wake up early; there is no time for sex or a casual conversation. A rift is created between the two, which increases over time. Overtime, couples tend to get comfortable towards each other and know their good and bad habits. For instance, during their early days, the underwear was like an aphrodisiac, but today, it seems like under the bad habit of throwing undies on the bed to get laundry done. In summary, the main pillars for the cause of losing sexual surges are stress, tiredness, mundane life, psychological health, and added responsibilities.
Checking out the stats.
A study of 1000 American couples suggested that 57% of them lose interest in sex, while it remains the same for about 35%. A small percentage, i.e., 8% of Americans, suggest that they have developed an increased sexual interest over time with each other. Based on gender, it has been reported that women tend to lose sexual attraction over time more than men. The possible causes for women losing sexual interest are emotional health, being a mother, and focusing on the child’s well-being. At the same time, hormonal changes are also a parameter while considering sexual health.
What happens when couples don’t have sex?
Priorities change, there is the loss of interest; they tend to focus on other things like work, kids but lose the precious thing they have together. There will be a loss of communication, bringing the relationship to the brink of ending it. Increased quarrels, as understanding towards each other, is lost, which leads to the disappearance of intimacy, and in the process, work takes over.
Spells to bring back the sexual surges like good old days.
Don’t be alarmed! Losing sexual interest over age is quite common, and if you don’t want to visit a shrink, that’s fine because the key to bring back intimacy lies between the two of you. Studies indicate that men have strong surges for sex due to their increased testosterone levels, while women find it challenging to get into the sexual mood. Men need to take easy and try to get their lady into the mood. Spontaneity like before might indeed decrease, but patience is a virtue. Getting into foreplay is one of the ways to achieve it.
Create an aphrodisiac atmosphere, light up candles, wear satin, and least clothes as possible, which will help you get in the mood. Before jumping right at it, talk to each other, feel your skin, breathe, grasp the moment in your hand and do the deed. You might wonder, time isn’t at your hand, but if not regular, then on the weekends, it will spice up your life and make you feel relaxed and happier, and you find comfort in the arms of each other. Another way of spicing up your sex life is by trying out kinky stuff, in a similar way like Phil and Claire of the modern family role play to “Sex up”. Sometimes, going back to normal is also a fun way to get things on track. Go on a date, drink lots of wine (it has proven to be an aphrodisiac), get drunk together. Exercise together, by going on long walks or a long drive together.
Try a weekend outing to change your surroundings’ setting; new surroundings develop another level of spontaneity. If your schedule doesn’t match each other, try scheduling nights or afternoons for each other, which might seem odd initially, but it does make sense, and you start gaining a gravity towards each other. Everyone had some of the other fantasies to explore, so knowing each other’s fantasies and giving it a try to do it, in reality, might seem like a great idea.
In the first place, you are a couple, you have had interest together and like each other for who you are, and that’s why tried spending your life together, if the spark has dwindled, it can be rekindled. Talk to each other, find out reasons for the drift causes, and live together has two wheels of the bike moving together on the highway of life, not as competitors. Evolve together, grow together, sex is just an indicator, saying “Things are good between us.”